Hodgman essay on Massachusetts

Someone asked a bunch of writers to each write an essay about one of the 50 States for a collection called State by State.
John Hodgman was one of those writers, and he wrote a really nifty essay about Massachusetts. Here is an excerpt:

Boston has much to offer any visitor. There is of course a fine symphony orchestra, world-famous universities, and the Mother Church of Christian Science, which has a truly boss reflecting pool. However, if you do not like sports, Boston does not have much to offer you. The local sports teams –– which I am told are the Baseball Red Sox, the Football Patriots, the Basketball Celtics, the Hockey Bears, and of course the famous Boston Lobsters of the World Tennis Team League –– are an obsession.

When a game is on, it will be broadcast in every bar, home, and taxi cab. I once frequented an eccentric coffeehouse in a small town in western Massachusetts. It hosted literary readings and served vegetarian food and a small selection of wines. I loved it. It had a small TV that showed only a closed circuit feed of the baby eagles that had recently been hatched at a local bird sanctuary (which seemed perfectly reasonable to me). Unless there was a Red Sox game on, in which case, sports would preempt baby eagles.

In the finest restaurant the waiter will be checking the scores and passing the news of the game between the busboy in the kitchen and the Harvard professor at the table. The professor will tell you that, in a city largely stratified by class, race, and ethnicity, sports erases all those distinctions and reminds us of our common humanity and reties, season by season, the frayed threads that hold our community together. He will probably be wearing a baseball hat as he says it, one of those good-quality, fitted jobs. And if you tell this academic that you don't happen to like sports, he will ask what is wrong with you. And then he will punch you in the face.

The essay wanders across the history of Massachusetts, weaving in personal anecdotes in true Hodgmanic style. Hodgman fans will enjoy this essay.

What Road Runner cartoons can teach us about the Hodgman Mac/PC commercials

In a brilliant explanation of why it makes sense for Hodgman's "PC" character to be so much more likable than Justin Long's "Mac" character, the Fishbowl blog points out that the PC character is analogous to Wile E. Coyote in the Road Runner cartoons. This may be seen by considering the writer's rules for all Coyote and Road Runner cartoons:

1. Road Runner cannot harm the Coyote except by going “beep, beep”.
2. No outside force can harm the Coyote—only his own ineptitude or the failure of Acme products.
3. The Coyote could stop anytime—if he was not a fanatic. (Repeat: “A fanatic is one who redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim.” —George Santayana).
4. No dialogue ever, except “beep, beep”.
5. Road Runner must stay on the road—for no other reason than that he's a roadrunner.
6. All action must be confined to the natural environment of the two characters—the southwest American desert.
7. All tools, weapons, or mechanical conveniences must be obtained from the Acme Corporation.
8. Whenever possible, make gravity the Coyote's greatest enemy.
9. The Coyote is always more humiliated than harmed by his failures.
10. The audience's sympathy must remain with the Coyote.
11. The Coyote is not allowed to catch the road runner.

Awesome new Hodgman THAT IS ALL video

Hodgman's new book, THAT IS ALL, comes out November 1st.

The media blitz starts today though with this tremendously fun video:

THAT IS ALL from John Hodgman

Hodgman as Steve Jobs

Back in 2007, when John Hodgman was regularly playing the PC in the "Get a Mac" ads, Apple decided to kick off the Steve Jobs keynote for a developer's conference with a little video featuring Hodgman:



That was the best camera angle on the video I could find, but it fails to capture the rest of the event. I've adjusted this next one to start toward the end of the Hodgman part and then show Jobs coming on stage and starting his talk:

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After the news of Steve Jobs' death, Hodgman posted the following on Twitter:

Thank you, Steve. Oct 06 via Twitter for iPhone Favorite Retweet Reply

Everything good I have done, I have done on a Mac. Oct 06 via Twitter for iPhone Favorite Retweet Reply

That is all.

Old Hodgman audio Interview

My great uncle once tried to give me an old copy of The People's Almanac by David Wallechinsky and Irving Wallace. He told me about it as I leafed through it. It was a randomly ordered collection of information and, I gradually realized, thinly veiled Communist propaganda. (The title was kind of a big hint.) My great uncle had apparently never realized this and had, in fact, used it for years to help my cousin write reports for school.

Little did I know at the time that The People's Almanac (and other books by the same crew, most chiefly The Book of Lists) were primary inspirations for John Hodgman's books. But I know it now because I listened to this interview Hodgman once did with Jesse Thorn on The Sound of Young America. In it, Hodgman talks about writing his first book, how writing his second book was a much different experience, and a few of his thoughts on his then-distant (now imminent!) third book.

Hodgman and Jesse Thorn also discuss Hodgman's emerging Judge John Hodgman routine (then just a segment on the Jordan, Jesse Go! podcast). Hodgman complains that they don't have enough cases!

I enjoyed this interview and recommend it. Again, you can find the mp3 of the interview here.

Hodgman's appearance at MakerFaire, streaming live September 17th, 2011

If my calculations are correct, Hodgman's first reading from his new book will be streamed online, TODAY (Saturday, September 17th) from 2pm-2:30pm.

The official schedule says:

Are Magic Tricks Really Magic?

JOHN HODGMAN shall present information on THE SECRETS OF FAMOUS MAGIC TRICKS from his forthcoming book of FINAL WORLD KNOWLEDGE entitled
THAT IS ALL.

Go to the Maker Faire home page and the streaming video from Fora.tv is right there!

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Pre-order THAT IS ALL from Amazon.

Book tour for Hodgman's THAT IS ALL announced

On Hodgman's blog, he recently announced the coming of his new book, titled THAT IS ALL.

Hodgman has a book tour scheduled. He announced it like this:

TO BRING YOU THE FINAL WORLD KNOWLEDGE, I will be traveling the future wasteland known as the UNITED STATES with copies of the books, words to read from it, and occasional guests of note. While some details are still emerging, here is the basic outline of THE END IS NIGH TOUR, 2011.

Here are the dates that have been announced on his blog, with updated information:

Pre-tour appearance

BETHLEHEM, PA

October 18th; 7:30pm

Zoellner Art Center
Lehigh University
$12 or free for Lehigh students

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BROOKLYN, NY

Tuesday, November 1st; 8pm-11pm

The Bell House - Buy Tickets at $30 each.

This is Coulton's only appearance!
Other guests: Paul Rudd, Wyatt Cenac, David Rees, and Cynthia Hopkins

CHICAGO, IL

Wednesday, November 2nd; time TK

Second City

Guests include Malort and Peter Sagal (cancelled)
Call 312-337-3992 for tickets ($27).

ST. LOUIS, MO

Thursday, November 3rd; 7:00 PM

Mad Art Gallery / Subterranean Books
2727 South 12th Street, St Louis MO
Buy Tickets

LOS ANGELES, CA

Friday, November 4th; 8:30 PM (doors open at 7)

Largo at the Coronet / Book Soup

366 North La Cienega Boulevard
Guests include Paul F. Tompkins, John Roderick, and Rich Sommer

Tickets = $35
PORTLAND, OR

Sunday, November 6th; 7:00 PM

Bagdad Theater / Powell’s

3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd, Portland
Guests = John Roderick + others
Tickets = $25

SEATTLE, WA

Monday, November 7th; 7:30 PM

Town Hall / Elliott Bay

119 8th Avenue
Guest = John Roderick
Tickets=$25

AUSTIN, TX

Tuesday, November 8th; 7:00 PM

Book People (in-store) details (only a few tickets available November 1st for $25 $28 or you can skulk stand in the back for $5 free!)

603 North Lamar
Guest = Neal Pollack
Entertainment = moustache contest

DURHAM, NC

Wednesday, November 9th; 7:30 PM

Durham Armory / Regulator Bookshop

220 Foster Street
Guest=David Rees
$25 tickets

ASHEVILLE, NC

Friday, November 11th; 7 PM

Asheville Community Theater / Malaprop’s

35 East Walnut Street
Guest list pending
$30 tickets

NEW YORK, NY

Monday, November 14th; 7:00 PM

Barnes & Noble – Union Square

33 East 17th St
No tickets. Just show up and voluntarily show your support for Hodgman by buying THAT IS ALL.

BOSTON, MA

Tuesday, November 15th; 6:00 PM

Coolidge Theater / Brookline Booksmith
290 Harvard Street
Tickets are $5 each (except the first one is actually $25 because it comes with a copy of THAT IS ALL) and will be available at the Booksmith (279 Harvard Street) or by calling 617.566.6660 or by clicking here

With Ted Leo and the Pharmacists

ST. PAUL, MN

Friday, November 18th; 8pm

The Fitzgerald Theater / Minnesota Public Radio “Wits Extra”

Guests: John Darnielle, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett
$23/25 tickets do not include a copy of the book

I will update this list as I get better information.

All but one of these (probably the Austin appearance) require a ticket to get in (due, no doubt, to how much Hodgman's popularity has grown since his last book tour), but in such case, the price of the ticket always includes a copy of the book (except in Minnesota, where it includes the price of admission to a public radio show).

If you have the opportunity to see him on this tour, I strongly recommend that you do so. He puts on quite a show.

But for those who can't attend one of his appearances, he has announced that he is going to hold Skype office hours over the Internet. Yes, really.

Also from his follow-up post:

please know that, due to the complexity of the Sam Pottsian design of THAT IS ALL–including charts, tables, photographs of human tongues and Cyclopses, and a TODAY IN RAGNAROK page-a-day calendar–there shall be:

NO ELECTRONIC EDITION

…until we figure out how to make one IN THE FUTURE.

And the earliest that the audio adaptation might emerge is 2012, though it's more likely to be 2013.

UPDATE: Hodgman's reupdated tour schedule

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Pre-order THAT IS ALL from Amazon.

Hodgman appearance on The Daily Show in "Borders Goes out of Business"

In John Hodgman's latest appearance as the Daily Show resident expert, he discusses the demise of the Borders chain of bookstores. Watch and enjoy!

The Daily Show - Borders Goes Out of Business

Update
Here are some follow-up comments that the Hodge has made on this topic on Twitter:

Smart, well curated bookstores in the right location should and will always thrive.less than a minute ago via Twitter for iPhone Favorite Retweet Replyhodgman
hodgman

For physical bookstores to get ahead of ebooks, focus on books that don't work on that platform: art, comics, books by John Hodgmanless than a minute ago via Twitter for iPhone Favorite Retweet Replyhodgman
hodgman

Tiny excerpts from Hodgman's THAT IS ALL

On Twitter, Hodgman has been posting quotes from his future best-selling book, That Is All.

Here are some:

HOUDINI HIMSELF taps him on the shoulder. “Is this what you’re looking for?” he says, holding aloft the key to the sardine tin. #thatisallMay 31 via web Favorite Retweet Replyhodgman
hodgman

"Prominent Ragnarok denier Dr. Elliot Kalan writes: “OK, I admit it. A giant squid with a human mouth just crushed my house." #thatissomeMay 31 via web Favorite Retweet Replyhodgman
hodgman

"Several “typical American families” would be drugged, frozen, and stored in the geodesic freeze-sphere at EPCOT's center" #thatissome@hodgman May 31 via web Favorite Retweet Reply

"The Washington Monument is finally found, hiding behind the moon." #thatissome@hodgman May 31 via web Favorite Retweet Reply

"There is a local legend that teenagers used to break into the cabin at night for nausea parties" #thatissome@hodgman May 31 via web Favorite Retweet Reply

"I know it's complex so let me explain. The helicopter is a vehicle that achieves flight by rapidly twisting gravity" #thatissomeMay 31 via web Favorite Retweet Replyhodgman
hodgman

New Hodgman interview plus moustache update

John Hodgman has done an interview with The Onion's A.V. Club for its "Random Roles" column. He answers questions about his roles as an actor (in Coraline, The Invention Of Lying, the 2011 remake of Arthur, and the television shows Battlestar Galactica and Bored to Death) and the making of his new movie The Best and the Brightest.

More importantly, he sheds new light on what the deal is with his 'stache in his answer to questions about working with the Bored to Death crew:

They give me everything I need to work with comedically, and from a writerly point of view, it's fun to connect the dots and say, "Who is the person behind all of these wild emotional swings?" And it kind of wasn't until I grew a mustache that I figured it out. I think that's true for a lot of men who grow mustaches, about a lot of things. The mustache is an affectation that I grew as a joke, and then just sort of enjoyed, and it allows me to really embrace wholeheartedly the idea of affectedness, and affectations in one's personality. [...] I really think it fits with the kind of derangement that you have to go through when you are confronting your mortality at the age of 40. So I will keep it as long as America will allow me to keep it. [...] So far, people have been very tolerant of it. But I'm not going to get tied down. Maybe I'll shave it off tomorrow, I don't know.

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Further reading:

• The original post on Hodgman's moustache
• All Hodgman interview posts

Hodgman appears on The Daily Show in "You're Welcome - Hacker Threat"

I always know when John Hodgman appears on The Daily Show because this blog gets a huge spike in traffic. Nearly all of it is people searching for information about Hodgman's moustache. I thought that this month's "You're Welcome" segment (in which Hodgman shows how to handle hackers) was a particularly good one, so I have embedded it below. Enjoy!

The Daily Show - You're Welcome - Hacker Threat
Daily Show Full Episodes

Hodgman's essays on being a parent

The first article by Hodgman on parenthood and children was published in The Believer in 2003 and is called "Hodgmina is coming soon". You may read it here. A small part in the middle looks like this:

When I say that Hodgmina is brilliant, and when I tell people about her guest sermon last Sunday at St. John the Divine, and her surprising skills at badminton, people want to know: Is she a child prodigy? I reply: I hope not. There is too much pressure put on children. They should have time to explore and enjoy the world as a child, and not be forced into the highly competitive badminton circuit. Unless the child really wants that, and has signaled as much by crying or burping.

If some of the essay is familiar, it may be that you have read an altered version of it in Hodgman's first book (not actually all about Hodgmina).

The second essay has more of that blend of humor and seriousness Hodgman used in his TED Talk. This essat was published in Psychology Today in 2007 under the title "Apologia to My Second Child". You may read it there. (It may also be found in the collection of essays, Only Child: Writers on the Singular Joys and Solitary Sorrows of Growing Up Solo.) It is about being an only child and other things. In case you were curious, Hodgman's second child wound up being named "Hodgmanillo".

Happy Father's Day!

Publication date for THAT IS ALL (Hodgman's 3rd book) announced

It's time to start getting excited. Amazon has a bare-bones product page for John Hodgman's coming book That Is All.

It's going to be out on November 1st.

If you fish around on the Internet, you can find the publisher's description of the book:

John Hodgman-bestselling author, "The Daily Show"'s "Resident Expert," minor television celebrity, and deranged millionaire-brings us the third and final installment in his trilogy of Complete World Knowledge.

In 2005, Dutton published "The Areas of My Expertise," a handy little book of Complete World Knowledge, marked by the distinction that all of the fascinating trivia and amazing true facts were completely made up by its author, John Hodgman. At the time, Hodgman was merely a former literary agent and occasional scribbler of fake trivia. In short: a nobody.

But during an interview on "The Daily Show" with Jon Stewart, an incredible transformation occurred. He became a famous minor television personality. You may ask: During his whirlwind tornado ride through the high ether of minor fame and outrageous fortune, did John Hodgman forget how to write books of fake trivia? The answer is: Yes. Briefly. But soon, he remembered

And so he returned, crashing his Kansas farmhouse down upon the wicked witch of ignorance with "More Information Than You Require," a "New York Times" bestseller containing even more mesmerizing and essential fake trivia, including seven hundred mole-man names (and their occupations).

And now, John Hodgman completes his vision with "That Is All," the last book in a trilogy of Complete World Knowledge. Like its predecessors, "That Is All" compiles incredibly handy made-up facts into brief articles, overlong lists, and beguiling narratives on new and familiar themes. It picks up exactly where "More Information" left off-specifically, at page 596-and finally completes COMPLETE WORLD KNOWLEDGE, just in time for the return of Quetzalcoatl and the end of human history in 2012.

While teasing with the reference to the seven hundred molemen names, the description dances around the big question about Hodgman's third book: Who will be the hobos/molemen analog for That Is All?

Cat burglars? Spammers? Chimney sweeps? Robo-hobos?

Place your bets in the comments area.

Amazing Hodgman interview: Apple's Meet the Author

If you go to to the iTunes Store and search for "Hodgman", you will find, in addition to numerous podcasts and audiobooks, a special treasure: A Hodgman appearance on Apple's Meet the Author podcast. I did not know about this podcast previously, but now I love it. Basically, for several years, Apple had authors come to their New York City/Soho Apple Store and speak, just as they normally would as part of a book tour, and then they are interviewed by a moderator and field audience questions. Someone is there taking photographs which accompany the resulting podcast as a slideshow, and whoever puts these podcasts together chops them up into chapters.

What makes this Hodgman interview special is that the moderator is Elizabeth Gilbert, an old friend and fellow writer, who is able to tell great stories from John Hodgman's past: how he first started the Little Gray Book Lectures, how he evolved from a writer of serious literature to the Hodgman we have today.

That URL again: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/itunes-meet-the-author/id266215977.

You are welcome.

New York Times articles by John Hodgman

It turns out that Hodgman has written many articles for the New York Times. (Before you get too excited, be aware that some are not terribly Hodgmanic, at least not in writing style.) After learning that the Times is putting up a paywall, I hurriedly tracked down all his past articles:

New York Times Magazine articles:

Ron Moore's Deep Space Journey - on Battlestar Galactica, primarily the new version of the TV show - by John Hodgman

Mr. Invisible - profile of Kerry Conran and his movie "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" - by John Hodgman

Ayn Rand in Spades by John Hodgman

Crossover: The Musical by John Hodgman

The Haunting - article about horror films - by John Hodgman

Susanna Clarke's Magic Book - an article about Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell: A Novel - by John Hodgman

All Shaken Up - profile of Dr. Cocktail, the world's only cocktail archeologist - by John Hodgman

• Bonus follow-up blog post on Dr. Cocktail:
  

  “Finally,” Haigh continued, “Hodgman decides he wants to write a nice article for the New York Times Magazine about—me! He came out to Burbank, I had him over to the house, plied him with liquor and so forth. The interview took three days. And at some point I tell him, ‘I’m getting a book published,’ which he knew because, unbeknownst to me, he’s the one who had recommended me to the publishers! John Hodgman was the real impetus for getting me published, really published. The book had been percolating for about ten years before that, but Hodgman was instrumental, just instrumental.”

• Also, here is the newly revised and not out-of-print version of Doc Cocktail's book: Vintage Spirits and Forgotten Cocktails: From the Alamagoozlum to the Zombie 100 Rediscovered Recipes and the Stories Behind Them

Antony Finds His Voice - where Antony is a British musician - by John Hodgman

The Bard of Omaha - a profile of Alexander Payne, writer and director of Election and About Schmidt - by John Hodgman

THE YEAR IN IDEAS: A TO Z.; The Game That Plays You - a short article about Alternate Reality Games - by John Hodgman

Hodgman's comic book reviews

Comics

Summer Reading - Comics - review of several comics compilations

Comics Chronicles

Comics Chronicle

"Do you wanna see a great new comic strip?" Charlie Brown asks Patty, running up with a distinctively oblong sheet of drawing paper. "It's about these two guys in an office, see?" he explains. "One guy offers the other guy this piece of English toffee, see? Then this other guy says, 'Thank you very much. I'll eat this during toffee-break!' Get it?"

But Patty just stares, her mouth one of those Charles Schulzian unadorned lines, the shortest distance between befuddlement and contempt. Charlie Brown walks away, the comic strip over his shoulder. "There's nothing worse than being 50 years ahead of your time," he says. That was in 1957, and even then comic strips got no respect.

Also Hodgman gives a good review of the massive The Complete Calvin & Hobbes set.

Comics: Righteousness in Tights

CHRONICLE COMICS; No More Wascally Wabbits - by John Hodgman

Up Front - meta bit in which the Times admits that Hodgman is their senior comics correspondent

Hodgman appears in Ira Glass/Damian Kulash Net Neutrality interview

Ira Glass interview Damian Kulash (of pop band OK Go) on his band's popular, unconventional music videos (like the one where they are dancing on treadmills or the one with the Rube Goldberg machine). Ultimately, this is a conversation about the issue of Net Neutrality. Then John Hodgman appears (a little after 17:00) and all Hodg breaks loose.

Session 3: May the Best Band Win from Ford Foundation on Vimeo.

And here are some OK Go videos because you probably like them:

Here It Goes Again


This Too Shall Pass

Hodgman's moustache

Documentation of John Hodgman's moustache:

His 2011 moustache:
From his Twitter page.

His 1999 moustache: From here.

On Twitter, Hodgman says of his new look:

No, I am not playing Higgins in the Magnum PI reboot. However, I AM playing young Wilford Brimley in the upcoming prequel to Cocoon. - 14 Jan 2011

I speculate that Hodgman's fame has developed to the point that he has grown a moustache as a kind of disguise.

At the beginning of this Daily Show segement, his moustache has its coming-out party:

The Daily Show - You're Welcome - NASCAR

UPDATE: Hodgman's latest moustache Twitter:

Now I pass friends on the street without saying hello.

Them: "Hey! It's me!"

Me: "Sorry. I didn't recognize you with my new mustache."

March 20th Update:
It might have been hiding there before (and I just missed it), but now Hodgman has developed a serious "soul patch".


April 23rd:

Late lunch. I have manipulated my mustache into "SOUP EATING POSITION."
- @hodgman

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Further mustache information: In an interview with the A.V. Club, Hodgman answers questions about his moustache.

The Judge John Hodgman podcast

I loved the "Today in the Past" podcast, in which Hodgman read from the year's worth of historical pseudofactual entries from the 365 pages of his second book.

Now, that podcast has been replaced by the Judge John Hodgman podcast, available through iTunes or this feed. It's part of the Maximum Fun family of podcasts.


Here is a frequently updated list of the episodes (and evidence) to date:

1. Is Chili a Soup? (note that this episode is just a part of a "Jordan, Jesse, Go!" podcast installment and is NOT available as part of the Judge John Hodgman podcast) - Download mp3
2. Dish Soap or Hand Soap? - mp3
3. Are Machine Guns Robots? - mp3
4. Tear Down That Wall - Breaking The Fourth Wall, Yea or Nay? - mp3 (This is one of my favorites.)
5. The Long-Necked Custody Battle - mp3 - video evidence
6. The Lovely Couple - mp3
7. The Lion's Den - mp3 - photographic evidence
8. To Tree Or Not To Tree - mp3
9. The Parenthetical Petition - mp3
10. The Cone-tractual Dispute - mp3 - accompanying photographic evidence
11. The Case of the Youthful Indiscretions - mp3 - accompanying photographic evidence
12. You Say Martucci, I Say Martucci - mp3
13. The Tahitian Take-Out - mp3 - photographic evidence
14. Snob V. Slob - mp3 - photographic evidence
15. Sesame Street Justice - mp3
16. The Potluck Problem - mp3
17. Parents Just Don't Understand - mp3
18. The Colbert Rapport - mp3 - photos of the complainants
19. The Ironman Trial-Athlon - mp3
20. An Appeel-ate Case Decision - mp3 - The one about banana peeling
21. You Say Tomato, I Say Justice - mp3 - The other one about pronunciation
22. Tips, Tricks, and Justice - mp3 - Hodgman's Twitter summary: "Two gamers debate cheating with @morganwebb while I play colecovision." This is the episode where Hodgman talked about the George Plimpton's Video Falconry ColecoVision game. You can now watch the resurrected TV ad on YouTube.
23. Arby's-tration - mp3 (Do cab rides and drive-throughs mix? Judge John Hodgman decides.)
24. The Bedroom Three-way - mp3 - floorplans and relevant photographic evidence
25. The Girlfriend and the Grasshopper - mp3 - photographic evidence and written testimony
26. The Toot Dispute - mp3
27. The Friendship Inquest - mp3 - The one about social networking
28. The Battle of the Baton - mp3 - The one about the couple where the wife gets annoyed by the husband's faux classical musical conducting
29. Justice is Out There - mp3 - The one about keeping action figures in their original packaging - [The guy in this one convinced me of his position with just four words.]
30. Ob-Law-Di, Ob-Law-Da - mp3 - The one about the Beatles - [Repeat Offender Alert: These guys have appeared before in a "clearing the dockets" segment.]
31. Garbage Man and Wife - mp3 - The one about taking out garbage - Starring Metafilter's mathowie in a special Minor Celebrity edition of the Judge John Hodgman podcast.
32. The Cow Beef - mp3 - The one about the cow-obsessed dad - photographic evidence
33. Hors d'oeuvres in the Court - mp3 - The one about bribing children to eat food
34. De Plane - mp3 - The one about the correct protocol for filing out of an airplane [Correct answer: Maximize flow rate by fast people slipping into small openings and slow people waiting for longer ones. "Row-by-row" is inefficient.]
35. Unbanded Brothers - mp3 - The one with the boisterous, buzz-marketing, bickering brother band.
36. Beard Science - mp3 - The one with the college friends who played "beard chicken".
37. Panta-Lunacy - mp3 - The one where Broadway show performers debate ownership of a pair of pants.
38. Pepperoni Pauper - mp3 - The one where the girlfriend is embarrassed that her boyfriend sifts through discarded pizza boxes.
39. Slash-Friction - mp3 - The debate over what constitutes a horror movie.
40. The Abuse of Flower Power - mp3 - Domestic dispute between lesbians living in a storage facility.
41. Out of REC-order - mp3 - The one where the guy asks his friend to DVR things for him, but then never watches them.
42. Driving Miss Drowsy - mp3 - The one with the guys who drove from Santa Cruz to Brooklyn, where one claims to have experienced "car lag" symptoms due to shifting time zones.
43. Triple Word Scorn - mp3 - The one about playing Scrabble online. This one also contains a highly recommended docket-clearing segment in which Hodgman addresses the question of what makes something "ironic".
44. The Bedding Crasher - mp3
45. Apocalypse Row - mp3 - The one where people sort of argue over what to do when civilization collapses and whether taking over the closest Wal-Mart is the soundest strategy.
46. The Clap Trap - mp3 - The one about whether a band should encourage its audience to clap along with its songs.
47. The Carry On Carryings On - mp3 - The one in which sisters debate whether about whether short people should be allowed to carry on bags bound for the over-the-seat luggage compartment.
48. The Wonderful, Terrible, Terrible Towel Trouble - mp3
49. The Master's Disaster - mp3
50. Double Dog Dare - mp3

Video Evidence: Video of the robot giraffe from Episode 5:

Back to the JJH episode list

Posts about all the individual Judge John Hodgman podcasts are available at Maximum Fun: http://www.maximumfun.org/tags/shows/judge-john-hodgman. And here is the feed where you can get more JJH.

Other Judge John Hodgman appearances:

Hodgman is currently seeking disputes in need of judging from people attending the Solid Sound Festival in western Massachusetts this June. See his blog entry for more details and for how to contact him.

The SPECIAL, MARITIME LAW EDITION OF JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN from the JoCo Cruise [January 2011] includes the following segments: Seasonal Music vs. Christmas Music:

Brown Gravy vs. Cream Gravy:

And then there is this weird uncategorized encounter between Judge John Hodgman and Famous Tracy (still on the JoCo cruise), included for JJH completeness:

For now, that is all.

[This post has been updated a zillion times.]